Tied In Knots
by witheverytouch
Summary: Momo confesses her true feelings to Toshiro, only to be rejected by him. Is that how he really feels though? Or is there more to Toshiro's actions than Momo knows? Will everything work out in the end, or is their relationship gone beyond repair? HitsuHina.
1. Rejection

This is the first chapter. Everything in _italics_ is Momo's flashback of what had happened. Everything in normal text is Momo speaking, as this chapter is told from her point of view. Thank you for reading and please review to let me know what you think so far, if you have any suggestions, etc. Thanks again and enjoy!

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I'm afraid of what will happen if he and I see each other. I'm afraid of what he'll say. Of how I'll react. Of how I feel. Oh, my stomach's tied in knots just from thinking about it. It's been over a week since we've last seen each other, which is sad considering how we used to see each other almost everyday. I can't help but feel so stupid. What was I thinking? Why would I ever tell him how I feel? I knew he wouldn't feel the same. Time after time I imagined how I wanted it to turn out: for him to have feelings for me as well, for him to love me back. But in my head, I knew this was only a fantasy and reality wouldn't grace me with such a wonderful thing. To fall in love with your best friend and to have your happiness wrecked by his rejection: that's my bitter reality. No matter how much I try to block the experience, it always seems to creep back into my mind and replay itself endlessly.

_"Well Toshiro, the reason I asked you to meet me here tonight is because I have something to tell you" A red tint flooded Momo Hinamori's cheeks as she spoke._

_"Yeah? What is it?" Toshiro Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow in suspicion._

_"W-well," she stuttered, "I-I, kind of have feelings for you…"_

_"What?" Toshiro questioned._

_"I'm in love with you Toshiro. I can't keep it a secret any longer" Toshiro was left speechless by Momo's bold statement. _

_"M-Momo… I…" Momo's heart began to sink as the usually cool 10__th__ division Captain lost his composure. "I-I don't know what to say…" He finally spit out after a long pause. His face appeared to be writhing with pain._

_"I-I knew it," tears began to swell up in Momo's chocolate eyes._

_"It's not like that, it's just, it's just…" Once again, Toshiro was at a loss for words._

_"It's what!?" Momo cried out._

_"You don't want me". He simply stated._

_"What? Why?" Momo sniffed._

_"The problem isn't you it's me," He threw out one of the oldest lines in the book. "I can't give you what you need. What you deserve. I'll just push you away. You'll grow to hate me, to resent me for not giving you what you want. I'm incapable of love." Momo's eyes were still watering. "So you're better off just forgetting about me, okay?" Toshiro coldly snapped. The look on Momo's face showed that her heart had just been shattered at the hands of Toshiro Hitsugaya. "M-Momo…" Momo Hinamori took off as fast as she could, crying the whole way back to her place. "What have I done" The white-haired captain buried his face in his hands, for he had well-known exactly what he had just done: destroyed the longest and best friendship he had ever had._

How could I ever face him again after that? I'm so humiliated and sickened by all this. Not only have I completely embarrassed myself in front of him, but also I ruined our friendship. Things will never be the same between us and it's all my fault. I lost my best friend. Sure, I have other friends, but it's not the same. No one understands me like Toshiro does. Nobody gets me like he does. And I lost it all because I decided to have a little courage for once and open my mouth. I'm so stupid. Beyond stupid. There's no possible way to avoid him, not with all these captain and lieutenant meetings lately that are mandatory. I can't ever face him. Maybe I should just quit and hide in my bed forever. Okay, now I sound stupid. You can't do this Momo, c'mon. Be strong and independent. Don't let it phase you! You're stronger than this! … who am I kidding? This has ripped apart my whole world. I'm so in love with him. I know many question why, but I can see through his icy demeanor and into his soft, caring heart. But that night, that wasn't the Toshiro I knew. That wasn't the Toshiro I fell in love with. I don't know who that man was, but that man sealed off his heart and emotions completely. He was so cold, so uncaring. I can only hope that everything will work itself out eventually. Maybe this is all a dream and I'll wake up soon. Well, more like a nightmare. Someone please wake me up from this nightmare. Or maybe we can forget that this all even happened and go back to how things were. Both those are options are very unlikely to happen but a girl can dream, can't she? I just don't know what to do or what to think. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't function properly. This whole catastrophe is on my mind all day, every day. Well, I better try to get some sleep. I got a lot of work to do tomorrow morning. Maybe that can help keep my mind off all this.

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Next chapter: Matsumoto confronts Toshiro about this whole mess and his true feelings are revealed.

Thanks for reading everyone! I'd really appreciate a review to let me know what you think!


	2. Worries

Thank you to everyone that read the first chapter and to all those who reviewed as well! Here is the second chapter; please enjoy it!

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"And that concludes today's meeting, thank you ladies!" Retsu Unohana warmly smiled. It was a warm, sunny Wednesday morning and another Shinigami Women's Association meeting had just ended. As all the women began to clear the room, one stayed behind a bit longer than the rest, too preoccupied with her own thoughts to notice everyone was leaving.

"I wonder where Momo could be…" Rangiku Matsumoto thought to herself. "She never, ever misses a meeting and if she does, she surely lets me know. This is strange. Really strange". Rangiku left the room and began to stroll back to her office. She continued to think to herself. "I really hope something didn't happen to Momo. This is just so unlike her. I really hope she's okay…" As Rangiku entered her office, she saw her captain busily working away at paperwork as he usually does. His face had a permenant scowl as of lately.

"I've left all the work that needs to be done on your desk. Get to work" Toshiro sternly said without looking up from his paperwork. Rangiku just sighed and sat down at her desk. However, she could not focus on her paperwork, for she was far too worried about Momo's absence from the Shinigami Women's Association meeting this morning.

"Matsumoto! It's been an hour already and you haven't even started your work?!" Toshiro yelled at her. A dazed Rangiku just looked up at him and said,

"I'm sorry. I need to take an early lunch" She said as she got up and left the room. Rangiku decided to take a little stroll down to the 5th division to see if Momo was there.

"Knock, knock" Rangiku called as she slid open the door to 5th division's main office.

"Oh, hi there lieutenant Matsumoto. Please do come in my love" Captain Shinji smiled at her.

"Please, it's Rangiku" She smilled back. "I was just wondering if you've seen Momo today…" she nervously bit her lip.

"Oh, no. She's not in today; she called in sick again. Poor girl, she's been out for a little over a week now. Must be something serious, every time I talk to her her voice sounds awful, like she's really sick with something"

"Oh, well thanks. I'll let you get back to your work" Rangiku left and decided to pay Momo a little visit.

"Captain didn't say anything about Momo being sick… hm… odd" Rangiku thought as she walked to Momo's place. She walked up to her door, gave it a big knock and called, "Momo! Momo, it's me, Rangiku. I've come to see you! I'm worried!" No answer. Rangiku decided to turn the knob only to discover that the door was unlocked. She took this as an invitation and went right on in. She walked to the bedroom to find Momo laying in bed in her pajamas. Her hair was quite unkempt and she all around looked disheveled. "Momo…" Rangiku frowned.

"Is that you Rangiku?" Momo said, her voice barely audible.

"What's wrong? You look like a wreck hun…" Rangiku sat down on the bed and stroked Momo's hair softly.

"W-well… N-no, i-it's nothing…" Momo's eyes began to water and she buried her face in the sheets as she started to cry. Rangiku gently rubbed her back and tried to comfort her.

"C'mon Momo, you can tell me what's wrong. I'm your friend, I'm here for you" She reassured her.

"I-it's T-Toshiro" Momo sobbed into Rangiku's shoulder.

"Oh gosh, what did that moron do?!" Momo went on to tell Rangiku the whole story of what happened. She didn't leave out a single detail and told her absolutely everything. "Oh my, Momo, I'm so sorry" Rangiku hugged Momo extremely tight. "God damn it! Why does he have to be such an idiot?!" She cursed in rage. "I'm going to march down the office right now and give him a piece of my mind!"

"NO!" Momo began to sob more. "Please don't say anything Rangiku, please, please!" Momo cried.

"Shhh, it's okay Momo, I won't" Rangiku said, knowing damn well that she wouldn't keep true on this. "Is there anything I can get you? A snack? A cup of tea? Some sake?"

"No, I'm okay, I just want to sleep some more. I don't feel well" Momo sighed, laying back down.

"You've got a bad case of a broken heart my dear" Rangiku frowned. Momo frowned as well as Rangiku pulled a blanket up over her. "Feel better. If you need anything, you know where to find me" Momo nodded as Rangiku left and began to storm back to the 10th division.

Captain was going to get it bad from her. She was going to rip his head off for doing this to Momo. "Everything he said was complete bullshit!" Rangiku screamed in her head. "I know he has feelings for her. Everyone does! It's clear as day! Ugh I am going to slap some sense into that stupid little head of his when I get back to the office!" Rangiku arrived at the 10th division office door and threw it open.

"What took you so long?! That was a long ass lunch!" Toshiro yelled.

"We need to have a talk right now captain" Rangiku snapped as she slammed shut the door as hard as she could. Toshiro couldn't help but be taken aback by Rangiku's outlash.

"What could have made her so mad…" he wondered in his head.

"You are officially the biggest idiot I've ever known in all of my life" Rangiku spitefully spit at him.

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Ooh, cliffhanger! Next chapter: Matsumoto scolds Toshiro and the two have a huge fight about it. What gets revealed in this fight? You'll have to read to see!

I'd really appreciate a review to let me know what you all think and if you have any suggestions, comments, etc. Thanks again!


	3. Fear

Hi everyone! Here's chapter 3. I hope you all enjoy it!

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"You are officially the biggest idiot I've ever known in all of my life!" Rangiku spitefully spit at her captain, Toshiro Hitsugaya.

"Excuse me?!" The young captain proclaimed.

"YOU HEARD ME!" She yelled. "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!" Rangiku screamed and threw a nearby vase at Toshiro in her fit of rage.

"What is your god damn problem Matsumoto?!" Toshiro shouted, jumping up and slamming both fists on his desk.

"You! You are the problem!" Rangiku huffed, nearly out of breath from her little frenzy of anger.

"What could I have possibly done to make you this belligerent?!"

"Oh, you know…" Rangiku shook her head in disgust.

"No I don't! That's why I'm so confused!" Toshiro slammed his fist down on his desk again.

"One word: Momo" Rangiku spat out, glaring her captain down with a stare colder than his Zanpakutō. Toshiro's eyes grew wide and he fell back into his chair. He buried his head in his hands and took a deep breath.

"How did you find out?" he murmured, his voice low and monotone.

"Momo told me. I went to check on her after she skipped the meeting this morning and I found her lying in bed. Shinji said she hasn't been to work in over a week" Toshiro took another long, deep breath, his face still hidden by his hands. "You destroyed her… you wrecked that poor girl… and why? For nothing? Is it a joke to you? Is this a game to you?" Rangiku growled.

"No it's not, it's just I don't feel—"

"Liar!" Rangiku cut off Toshiro before he could finish, knowing what his excuse would be. "I've seen the way you look at her! You think you're so tough and so cool and so well at hiding it but really you're so god damn obvious! You have feelings for that girl! It's written all over your face every time you look at her. Everyone knows there's more between you two than just a friendship. The way you are with her is unlike how you are with anyone else. With her you're so much more kind, more relaxed, and you're so protective of her. I see the way your eyes light up when she walks into the room or how you carefully listen when she speaks. If that's not love, then I don't know what love is…" Rangiku sighed, shaking her head. She was unbelievably frustrated with this whole situation, especially her pig-headed captain.

"You think I don't feel horrible about all this? You don't think this whole situation is killing me?" Toshiro asked her.

"I just can't understand why you broke her heart when you obviously feel the same way. It's like you don't even care about her…" Rangiku sat down in her desk chair, running her hands through her wavy hair.

Toshiro took a deep breath, running his fingers through his snow white hair, "The problem isn't her; it's me. I only have myself to blame for all this. I'll probably end up pushing her away in the end. I get so afraid; I've never been anything but alone my whole life. I don't let anyone in. Anyone. I don't let anyone get close to me. So I don't want to let her get attached to me then just break her heart. It'll hurt worse if I do it later than now; so I tried to save her the extra hurt and do it now before things got too serious. But if you for a second think that I don't care about her then you're wrong!" Toshiro shouted, slamming his fist on his desk again. His teal eyes began to feel with a mix of anger and passion. "I care so much for her. And you're right: I do have feelings for her. How could I not? My heart melts every time I see her beautiful chocolate eyes looking at me or when she lets her gorgeous hair down and runs her delicate fingers through it. Or the cute look on her face when she laughs at me. But I don't know if those feelings will last. I don't know. I just don't know. I've never felt like this. What if it's not real? What if it doesn't last? I can't do that to her".

"But what about what you've already done to her?" Rangiku asked him, her tone low and quiet.

"I know I've hurt her. I can barely live with myself for what I've done to her. It kills me" Toshiro gazed out the window, avoiding Rangiku's stare.

"Well why don't you fix what you've broken?"

"I can't" He sighed.

"Why?" Rangiku took a deep breath. She was starting to get fed up with her dense captain.

"I just told you Matsumoto" Toshiro sat back down, resting his head in his hands.

"Okay, so what if you're scared? Everyone gets scared. Especially with something new. But that's no reason to stop yourself from enjoying the beautiful things life has to offer. One of those is love. You could be missing out on the love of your life all because you're holding yourself back" Rangiku put her hand on Toshiro's shoulder, "Go to her. Apologize. Fix things. Win her back. Or you'll regret it. I swear you will. I can speak from experience. I had feelings for someone, but I never got the courage to tell him until it was too late…" Rangiku frowned. "I don't want to see you make the same mistake. Please. Follow your heart. Go to her" Rangiku walked out of the 10th divison office, knowing she had done all she could possibly do. It was all up to Toshiro now. She had played her motherly role and all she could now was hope that her tough love and encouragement were enough to fix this messy situation and repair the breaks in their hearts. "Damn, I deserve a bottle or two of sake for all my good deeds today" Rangiku thought to herself as she headed home.

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Wow, watch out for Rangiku when she's mad! She can get quite feisty. She does give good advice though :) Thanks for reading everyone! I'd really appreciate it if you reviewed because i'd love to know your thoughts, feelings, suggestions, etc. Thanks again :)

Next chapter: Will Toshiro listen to Matsumoto and go fix things with Momo? Or will he leave them broken? Would Momo even take him back after what he did? Read to find out!


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